Wild Wildlife: The Giant Matzo-Eating Waterfowl of DC

Annie and I went on a canal walk this weekend, and while I’m sure the area will be even more picturesque once the trees have leaves and the ground is bright with grasses and weeds, we still saw some interesting sights, including a couple of great blue herons,


…a bouquet of kayaks,


…a horned grebe (not, alas, pictured), and—perhaps most interesting of all—the tracks of a giant, possibly flightless bird with a taste for matzo or an interest in celebrating Passover a month early:

[strewn bits of matzo
among the giant(-)bird tracks]

It’s not easy to tell from these images just how huge the web-marks were—I hope this sixth-of-a-matzo I’ve included for comparison gives you a better idea (if it helps, I’d estimate the marks as being between 3.5 and 4 inches long):


We suddenly found ourselves contemplating the existence of enormous, Jewish wading birds strolling the banks of the DC canal and leaving only crumbs and web-prints in their wake. What would such a species be called, I wonder? The Greater North American Kibitzer, perhaps? (It does have a nice ring to it…)

I don’t yet have an answer, but I encourage you, Readers, to spread rumors of this bird far and wide. That won’t get us answers, either, but it will engender a highly intriguing urban legend. And what more could a humble blogger desire?

{A note: I do write all text and take all pictures. Please do not reproduce either without my permission.}